Dream a little dream of me...

I drempt of my girl last night. I drempt I had just given birth. She is beautiful. I cant wait for that dream to become reality. Because I know it will.

She had light blonde hair, big beautiful eyes, and a big dimple in her right cheek.

Someone asked me what her name was. I remember going threw names in my head and saying her name is Victoria. YES, her name IS Victoria.

My head...my heart...

Wow, what two months of ttc with swaying(Oh and post VR) can do to a person. I just dont know what to do. I really think the tbm/lime is killing what little sperm we may have. But I am scared to death to try naturally.

Oh I dont know what to do. I just wish I would know for sure that my girl was coming to me. I feel her, I want her, I already love her.

Do I try and sway and control, or do I just have faith and believe that she will be mine no matter what.

Jeremiah 1:5

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, And before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations."

CD 1 of cycle #3

So here I am...on to cycle #3. I am actually dealing with it a little better than I expected. I think having convinced myself for that last week that I was out, helped a little. No tears.

December seems like the perfect month. Oh hell, any month seems like the perfect month.

My sister Roseann has been saying since before we started ttc that December was our month. She said I would be pregnant with a baby girl. Our Christmas miracle from God...

I am not buying any more cheap tests. It makes it too easy to start testing WAY too early. I will try my very best not to test before 10dpo. No promises...I will just try :)

This month I had an 11 day luteal phase this month, so that was new. Hopefully that will help my December baby dig in deep and stay snug for 9 months.

December is a month for miracles...and I'm ready!!

11dpo...

and I am pretty sure I am out. Temp dropped this am. And the lines I am getting on the cheapies, I am pretty sure they are evaps. But for now...I guess we wait till the hag shows...

10dpo...lunch time...

10dpo...

Well...its sorta there...but I dunno...Im not holding out too much hope. I'm pretty crampy and miserable... oh and the top one is an OPK just to see the difference...

9dpo afternoon...

and...I dunno...is there anything there??

9dpo and...

maybe...juuuust maybe....

OK, you be the judge...early bfp? Or evap line?

7DPO...

and I would love to have a drink or 6 today. I am pretty sure I am out again this month. Yes, already. I am achy and bitchy and wanting to move on.

I know I complain a lot and seem to do nothing but be negative. Its hard to stay positive about something that you want so badly, and are not getting. *sigh*

I want to be due in November. I had a feeling I would be due in November. Now...not so much.

Please, I just want to be pg...now...with my baby girl...

5dpo...

and I'm pretty sure I'm out. Two really low temps the last 3 days...yah, I dont see much hope. Come on af...lets get this show moving. I want to start on my next cycle. Uggg...ttc is too much :(